You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Fri...
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So many people think that the more Facebook friends they have, the better. Wrong! In an excerpt from his just released book You Are Not So Smart David McRaney explains "Dunbar's Number" and why trying to keep in touch with more than 150 people, even on Facebook, is a biological impossibility.
Sure enough, all the sciences which study tribes, bands and villages have approximated ancient groups usually maxed out around 150 people. This is the approximate upper limit to how many people you can trust and count on for favors, whom you can call up and have a conversation with. Once you go over 150 people, Dunbar says about 42 percent of the group's time would have to be spent worrying about each other's relationships. Dunbar's number explains why big groups are made of smaller, more manageable groups like companies, platoons, and squads-or branches, divisions, departments, and committees. No human institution can efficiently function above 150 members without hierarchies, ranks, roles, and divisions.
So how do you learn how to try? I recommend finding something that is low-stakes (meaning that it is not going to affect your grades or your work life) and that does not come to you easily. For many, such activities may include learning a new language, mastering a musical instrument, martial arts, team sports, or visual arts. Now that you have found something to try at, commit a significant portion of your week to it. Cultivating a new skill takes time, and the skill of trying is no different.
I am sorry to say that there does not seem to be a one-size-fits-all answer. I have noticed a trend, however, that many of the gifted people that I work with have an easier time when they are able to learn things as a system and not as a series of steps or isolated facts. In other words, understanding how things fit together as a system is often a more helpful goal than memorizing a list.
Studies from the beginning of psychology up until today have revealed many ways in which people truly are affected by hidden persuasion. Richard M. Perloff in 1993 and and Bryant Paul in 2000 reviewed all the studies since researcher W. Phillips Davison first coined the third person effect in 1983. Davison noticed some people saw certain messages in the media as a call to action, not because of what was being said, but because of who might hear it. He pointed to the third person effect as the source of outrage from religious leaders over "heretical propaganda" and the ire of political rulers over some speech out of a "fear of dissent." Furthermore, Davison saw that censorship arising out of a belief that some messages which might harm "more impressionable minds."You don't want to believe you can be persuaded, and one way of maintaining this belief is to assume that all the persuasion flying through the air must be landing on other targets. Otherwise how could it be successful? Those advertisements for cheeseburgers are for fatties with no self-control, you think, until you are ravenous and are forced to choose between one fast food place and another. Those alcohol billboards are for trendy hipsters, you assume, until you are at the office Christmas party and the guy at the open bar asks you what you want. Public service announcements about texting while driving are for people who don't live the kind of life you do, you think, until you find yourself feeling a twinge of shame when you reach for the phone to respond to an email while waiting on the light to turn green.
When you watch your preferred news channel or read your favorite newspaper or blog, you tend to believe you are an independent thinker. You may disagree with people on the issues, but you see yourself as having an open mind, as a person who looks at the facts and reaches conclusions after rational objective analysis. You tend to think you are not like the people who live in your town, go to your school, work at your business and so on. You are unique. You dance to the beat of a different drummer. You fail to realize just by living in your town, attending your school, and working at your job you are the kind of person who would do those things. If you weren't, you would be doing something else. You might say, "Well, I have to be here. I have no choice," but you ignore how many of your peers are probably using the same excuse.
Opening statement...Gary Harris said it best. `Coach, you have to schedule more games on Valentine's Day for [Denzel] Valentine.' He thinks it's special and his mom thinks it's for him - it's not, but it's good that he played well. I'm a little disappointed in him because he isn't rebounding as well. He had a good excuse because he's kind of guarding guards now a lot more than he used to guard when he was on the inside on the wing guys. Because of that, I don't think he has as many boards, but he showed he was one of the more complete players. His defense has been so much better, we even talked about putting him on Yogi [Ferrell] because we didn't think we could cover Yogi [Ferrell]. I think [Yogi Ferrell] has become one of the greatest point guards in the whole country and I don't know if we did a good job on him or if he just wasn't as involved. When he misses a couple free throws, maybe it's not his day. We've gone through that with our players, too. We beat a really good team today. The way they played the first half, we didn't guard, and then we had our stretch where they didn't guard and we did. They scored 40 points in the first 15 minutes of the game. After that, I think we did an unbelievable job. I just thought our defense made our offense go. Zel [Valentine] found some great looks and we played a lot of that game without [Bryn] Forbes and [Eron] Harris. We got a lot out of our bench, but the shame of the thing is that I think we'll lose Kenny Goins. It looks like it might be a meniscus, so that is frustrating. Give Marvin Clark credit, he came in and actually did a pretty good job under the circumstances. All-in-all, an unbelievable crowd and an unbelievable game and yet, Indiana is a good team. I was concerned about the game because I didn't know if we could cover the way that they drive it and the way they handle it. [Max] Biefeldt, give him credit, for a while he was the best player on the floor. I give our team credit. We bounced back. Zel [Valentine] got after everyone at half time. We weren't very good in the first half, even though we got the lead. I don't think we were playing very well. The second half I think we played offense very well, and that turned our defense into our offense and we scored.
On Kenny Gions' status...I have no idea, no idea. So why did I say it? Because they told me, and I don't hide many things. That's what I heard. I heard that they're a little worried about his meniscus. It's a shame because he has been playing good. I go a week and a half without an injury, that's probably not normal.
On how MSU can lose to Nebraska and then take down a team like Indiana here...A couple of those years with (Victor) Oladipo they got us. Indiana's got a very good team. They really do. This game scared me more than most we've played because it was a bad matchup for us. The way they dribble-drive with four positions... I thought one guy who is really improving is (Collin) Hartman. I think he's improved a ton and he's a hard cover because he can shoot and he can put it on the floor. We lost to Nebraska because we were going through a tough time. We had just lost Tum at Wisconsin and we had Wisconsin-Nebraska back-to-back. We made some mental errors, we made some poor decisions. We shot 11-of-23 from the line. But for the most part, we've been fairly consistent. We lost to Wisconsin but we played hard enough. We lost to Nebraska, that was probably he worst loss. Losing to Purdue, I watched Purdue yesterday and I watched what they did against us and I've got to say, I thought they outplayed us in the first half. They were better than us. They made every shot, they did everything. I don't think it was us being poor, I thought it was them being awesome. That's what you're starting to see, too. It's the hard part about our job right now. There's so many things that make you scratch your head. You guys are scratching yours. I'm scratching mine too. I've seen a team that played so well against us, a guy hits five threes and gets two points the next game. Why? I don't know why. Keeping guys focused in this day and age where everybody tells them how great they are is more difficult than its ever been in all sports. Football, basketball, it doesn't matter which sport it's in. I will go down, whenever I go down, saying that has been the greatest change for how kids deal with issues and problems, positively or negatively. It is a pain. There are too many people that it's happening to. I'm sticking with my theory and everybody else can have their own.
Opening Statement...Michigan State played outstanding and the plays of the game that we really had to make sure didn't happen, they happened. They made too many threes. Their field goal percentage was outstanding because we gave up too many fast break baskets. The disappointing part is that we did a very solid job in the first half and we did not continue that by playing the personnel as well as we needed to. They were just too comfortable and when they are comfortable and getting great looks and not taking anything away from them, that makes them that much better. Twelve and 19 in transition, that was crucial. You can't do that. You can't give that up to a team and their break was so good. They always have a fantastic break but today it was as good as it's been or that I have seen. We didn't get back and find shooters as good as we needed to but we let their best players be comfortable. When we played the screens the right way we were good, but when we didn't (Byrn Forbes) made us pay and that's what good players do. Denzel (Valentine) and Matt (Costello) were outstanding and they didn't need a lot of help today. We just let those guys get to the rim, and when you are playing a good team with great players you just can't let them get to that. That's really what it was more than anything else. We didn't defend as well as we needed to, we gave up too many baskets and we gave up too many strength baskets, which means they got to their strengths. The game was physical and we weren't. We need to be better, and we were much better the other night and now we turn around and get ready to play Nebraska. 781b155fdc